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Many women decide to stay home after they have a child. Their husbands become the primary breadwinner and they manage the home – from doctor appointments to finding the right pre-school for their children. Unfortunately many women choose not to manage the investments and important financing decisions. Many pay the household bills but likewise many allow their husbands to invest the family savings ranging from life insurance, annuities, IRA’s, 529’s and 401 (k)’s.

If a divorce occurs and the wife has not been involved in these important financial decisions it can be a steep and daunting learning curve.

Managing your budget and your savings is critical. Many Americans live close to the monthly paycheck so if a situation happens, such as your car breaking down, it can stress your savings or worse, can put you into an impending “insolvency event”.

It is important to understand your financial situation – so start now. Go through all your financial records and set up a filing system that works for you. If you are comfortable with Excel put a spreadsheet together. Once you have determined what is going out, what is coming in and what is being placed in savings instruments you can put together a comprehensive budget.

If you are not saving, reassess your lifestyle and make the necessary cutbacks and adjustments. If you are saving, determine whether it is enough to cover your retirement years and pay for your kids’ college education (or at least a portion of their college).

It may seem overwhelming, especially having gone through a divorce. There are a number of sites and networks that can help you get started and encourage you along the way. It is well worth the investment of your time.

If you read the three previous posts about online dating you might be wondering whether the industry is actually making money. Revenue only increased 1% year over year from 2007 to 2008. Most likely one of the primary causes is market saturation: there are so many choices now as to which site to use. And, with the current economic downturn, more expensive sites may be feeling the pinch.

So as you choose your site, just as with the airline industry’s recent price breaks, look for bargains, deals and extras being offered by the dating sites. Some offer easier search capability; others offer alerts informing you whether your email has been opened by a recipient, and background checks on the potential date you have selected. Shop around and if you feel comfortable doing so, ask around. Other colleagues and friends may be able to steer you away from sites which they have found unhelpful.

The actual user experience seems to vary widely. Some are masters of optimizing their interactions on the site, but most are not as adept. Research has stated that only one in 10 users achieves the goal of communicating with other subscribers with a view to getting a date. It is an opportunity for the dating sites, however they appear to not have discovered the concept of CRM – Customer Relationship Management – rather you are in the huge site, wandering around not really getting the best experience and with no place to go for assistance. It’s a big miss and a huge opportunity for the savvy product and marketing folk who are running these sites.

When you join some of the expensive online dating sites you have to fill out a fairly extensive questionnaire. That would lead you to believe that they would match you pretty accurately with suitable candidates. This does not appear to be the case according to friends and colleagues who have discussed their experiences. As these sites gain more data, so their matching methodology will get better – one would hope. But it is a mystery and a closely guarded secret – the pairing formulae are proprietary. The problem is that a matching formula is not exactly algorithmic - we are dealing with people. Can one assume that the answers provided in the questionnaire are entirely truthful – perhaps embellished?

Of course you can always pay considerably more and hire a professional matchmaker. These consultants really will seek out people who will meet your expectations and personality.

Most people, however, are into the less expensive online dating sites (which are still costly). Research the sites you are considering, because if you are not satisfied you won’t be receiving a refund. In some cases you may be able to obtain an extension if you can prove you have not found anyone suitable during your first six months.

Online dating is not for the faint of heart. You will have to go through many profiles, online correspondence and eventually the first dates. 

Good luck.

With Online Dating sites averaging over 20 million unique visitors a month, online dating has now become commonplace and accepted among adults.  And it’s not free. Monthly prices can range from $30 to over $60 per month for the respectable sites. Some of the biggest are eHarmony, Match.com and Yahoo Personals. There are also specific sites depending upon your ethnicity, religion or other type of segmentation – JDate focuses on the Jewish Community; there is an Asia Friend Finder; an Indian Friend Finder and Muslima site. There are Single Parents Dating sites, Sexy Single sites and so on. There are also some free sites which can result in a better experience because you know that every listing is active as opposed to merely listings put up by non-paying members. Basically, there is a site for anyone who is looking for that perfect match.

The good news is, although tricky, tiring, frustrating and expensive - online dating does have is successes. Accordingly to eHarmony, around 2% of marriages in the US are as a result of couples meeting through that online dating site. 

The expense is when you find someone with whom you want to connect. You can become a member of some sites, without actually paying a fee, and create a profile. Then you are allowed to browse other profiles on the site. When you find someone who looks interesting and you want to “meet” them you have to pay a membership fee. One of the snags consumers run into is that if they find a candidate who looks interesting, pay the fee to connect and then reach out, it might be that the specific listing is not a full paying member and therefore unable to respond. 

Don’t take it personally! Only about 15% of the profiles are full paying subscribers. 

Free sites might be the best way to go.

Did you know that one in eight people now meet their partner via online dating? That is pretty remarkable and an indication of the power of Internet matching abilities.

I have talked to many colleagues and friends who have gone through this process and found there to be many issues, cautionary tales and heartache, in addition to the success stories:

Women are more honest (realistic) about themselves than men. Men tend to describe themselves as how they want to think of themselves as opposed to how they really are: think two inches taller and more hair. And assume that most adults (male and female) are “adjusting” their age – when you browse through the listings just see how many 29 year olds and 39 year olds there are. Seldom the dreaded 30 or 40. You can also pretty safely assume that the pictures presented are their absolute best – possibly when they used to go to the gym.

Apparently there are less than honest people who find gullible males online and commence a dialogue that lures the hapless male into the web. The scenario goes something like this - the lady is a very attractive person from a location farther away than the next city or town. As their relationship blossoms she suggests they get together and requests he purchase an airline ticket or send her money cover the cost of her gas. Like any business on the Internet if someone is asking for too much information (personal credit and banking information) or for money, you should assume it is not a legitimate matching.

There are so many issues with online dating, consumers really need to be cautious and aware. And then look forward to meeting that perfect match.